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Morningstar

by Chris Antonik

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1.
Hey Rosie! I don’t know why you never talked to me You kept it all inside, left me guessin’ You never spoke to me Hey Rosie! Crying all by yourself through the night (it ain’t right) You built up such a sneak attack But I would have liked your bark and not your bite And while you floated away, I was drownin’ on my own Oh, I couldn’t swim in your waves of stone Hey Rosie! You used me for your rock n roll fantasy You got your time in the sun Then you went on your way and let me be Hey Rosie! You threw it all away when things got tough Was that millennial love, instant change? I don’t know, ‘cuz you didn’t talk enough And while you floated away, I was drownin’ on my own I couldn’t swim in your waves of stone Looking back now, I’m thankful you were here And my pain has healed with time But even with your best intentions You buried the rhyme in the final line Now it’s a brand-new day, and I’m sailing on my own But I still remember your waves of stone
2.
Pilgrim 04:12 video
I always took things for granted, it’s a weakness of mine But now I’m looking for changes, in the heart and mind It’s not a cry for help, it’s not dependency Culture of compassion, accountability We’ll be the light in the doorway, everyone can see and feel safe in their place on this odyssey We’ll be the light in the doorway, everyone can see and feel safe in their place on this odyssey Consider this, inspire me Bring me back to the fold, with new philosophy Share the love and forgiveness, in the company we keep Divided we can fall apart, together we’ll be free We’ll be the light in the doorway, everyone can see And a safe place on this odyssey We’ll be the light in the doorway, everyone can see And a safe place on this odyssey We’ll be the light in the doorway, everyone can see And a safe place on this odyssey
3.
What I wanna be is the forgiving kind But I hold myself back Keep myself deep in blame all the time I need a remedy, a cure for this endless ache Dragging me down, pulling me under ‘Til everything’s at stake But I see a clearing up ahead, and I'm gonna go that way instead Gonna get right back, get right back Back to the good Take another path, get out of the woods I was running scared and wild, acting like a child But now I think I’ve finally understood How to get right back, get right back to the good When I was loving you, I was blind to my disease But the day you left, that sudden shift It knocked me to my knees Now, I don't wanna be defined by my mistakes Cause peace of mind has been hard to find I gotta lean on the brakes Tear down these walls of my pride, build up something bonafide Gonna get right back, get right back Back to the good Take another path, get out of the woods I was running scared and wild, acting like a child But now I think I’ve finally understood How to get right back, get right back to the good On another day, at another time I might take the easy way out But I’ve seen ‘em all, the warning signs I put it all in turnaround These battle scars, I gave to myself I know there’s only one way to be stronger I’m gonna break my heart no longer Gonna get right back, get right back Back to the good Take another path, get out of the woods I was running scared and wild, acting like a child But now I think I’ve finally understood How to get right back, get right back to the good Get right back, get right back to the good Get right back, get right back to the good
4.
I see a big blue man with a liquor store plan An orange-haired man bullying a child My children face a world where good leaders can’t be found I need to show them that there’s still good all around. I’m all alone in a leaderless age No inspiration; just men full of rage Raisin’ my children all by myself Outside my circle there is nobody else I wish you were helping me But I know that you ain’t with me I’m flying with one wing, and you don’t do a damn thing So I’m just gonna trust in me Regardless of your stripes, good used to be good But now there’s just no class, no grace, no brotherhood While I know there’s lots of love in my community Sometimes I feel like the world is all on me I’m all alone in a leaderless age No inspiration, just men full of rage Raisin' my children, all by myself Outside my circle there ain’t nobody else I wish you were helping me But I know that you ain’t with me I’m flying with one wing, and you don’t do a damn thing So I’m just gonna trust in me I wish you were helping me But I know that you ain’t with me I’m flying with one wing, and you don’t do a damn thing So I’m just gonna trust in me So I’m just gonna trust in me So I’m just gonna trust in me So I’m just gonna trust in me So I’m just gonna trust in me
5.
Take a coin, put it down If we want to build a home It takes more than love, though we do need love To build a home It'll take every ounce of determination If we're gonna build a home And good intentions of growing old We'll show warmth and patience In our home We'll have more time for each other In our home We'll have tenderness In our home Stoke the fire to keep it going Well there ain't no pain like when you lose your home. brick by brick, stone by stone, designed by love, now it's gone
6.
7.
In a small cafe at a crossroads on Route 63 Five miles from the last streetlight in East Bethany She smiled and asked him if he wanted the check He looked a bit of a wreck But she was hoping that he wouldn’t leave He held his heart out in his hand And drove back north from the promised land They shared everything across a border Without a line in the sand From his penthouse in Toronto to her front porch in Genesee She felt close enough to touch but it was her that he couldn’t see She had a cancer inside, a continental divide Something wrong in the Land of the Free He stood outside a closing door He didn’t know her anymore She was changing in all directions North to south and shore to shore. Friends and lovers turn to strangers sometimes Over lies and made-up crimes Just keep on digging to where the truth can’t hide Just gotta keep your hope alive, keep your hope alive And at night he dreams he sees her Floating over the great lake She looks free and beautiful She holds a torch of forgiveness And love for him to take So he keeps that flame burning Hoping she’ll awake Friends and lovers turn to strangers sometimes Over lies and made-up crimes Just keep on digging to where the truth can’t hide Just gotta keep your hope alive Friends and lovers turn to strangers sometimes Over lies and made-up crimes Just keep on digging to where the truth can’t hide Just gotta keep your hope alive Keep your hope alive
8.
While I was looking for reflections in the muddy water You stayed inside and read the lines on my dark terrain In the fading sun, I made a promise to my shadow That I would learn to love you better and it dulled the pain I had lost, circling down Lost my soul, your love found it Learning to love you and it’s healing me deep inside I’m learning to laugh again and maybe go for another ride Our love it grows, lines on my face forgiven As I listen, I will change into your better man As the bluebells dry slowly on your bedside table I will replace them with these roses as I can I had lost, circling down Lost my soul, your love found it Learning to love you and it’s healing me deep inside I’m learning to laugh again and maybe go for another ride Learning to love you and it’s healing me deep inside Like a rose always living, in bloom on the vine Learning to love you and it’s healing me deep inside I’m learning to laugh again and maybe go for another ride Learning to love you and it’s healing me deep inside Like a rose always living, in bloom on the vine
9.
For so long You were closer than anyone could be So real, so strong You were the star of my waking dream Everything I was Everything I wanted An angel drifted down from the sky But you didn’t want to save me And when your heart departed I was left with me, myself and I Never really knew who I was ‘Til I spent some precious time on my own Never knew who I could become ‘Til I learned how to be alone How to be alone Those were days Filled with anything but introspection I had my ways Of avoiding my own detection You were everything to me My identity Loving you was where I could hide Seemed like the safest place Where I didn’t have to face Me, myself, and I Never really knew who I was ‘Til I spent some precious time on my own Never knew who I could become ‘Til I learned how to be alone How to be alone Joy’s a moving target Gotta keep your aim straight and true The biggest thing, I put in my way Was you with me and me with you And that’s a hard-won truth. Never really knew who I was ‘Til I spent some precious time on my own Never knew who I could become ‘Til I learned how to be alone How to be alone
10.
On the day you left, the world fell apart Blamin’ myself, breakin’ my own heart I can’t shake the feelin’ it was all my fault Striking through my soul like a thunderbolt And I feel all alone - “all alone” Yeah I feel alone - “all alone” Maybe the hole in my soul is just love calling me home Oh, I’m no angel and I’ve made mistakes But we all need love when our heart aches I do my best with what I have I can’t keep justifying who I am ‘Cuz I feel all alone – "no you’re not alone!" But I feel all alone – "no, you’re not alone!" Maybe the hole in my soul is just love that’s calling me home For all I’ve seen, I’m not unchaperoned No matter how hard I weep and moan In my life, I’ve seen the sun and rain But everybody suffers and we’re all the same No we’re not alone – "no, we’re not alone" No, we’re not alone – "no, we’re not alone" I guess the hole in our souls is love calling us home "No we’re not alone!" - No we’re not alone! "No we’re not alone!" - No, we’re not alone! "No we’re not alone!" - No, we’re not alone! "No we’re not alone!" - No, we’re not alone I guess the hole in our souls is love calling us home
11.
Wasted and achin', all those years fakin' With a drink in his hand for the pain. Everyday thinking, 'bout the weight that was shrinking All of his best laid plans. Holding on to childish things Desperate for a new set of wings And a mile of runway for a safe place to land I'm coming down I'm coming down I'm coming down I'm coming down Always feeling too much Staying numb to the touch His mask was wearing too thin Misery finally met grace He took a hard about face Shed that dangerous skin Cause battles can still be lost The same way that they’re won And he’s climbing his way through the clouds up to the sun I'm coming down I'm coming down I'm coming down I'm coming down ‘Cause battles can still be lost The same way that they’re won And he’s climbing his way through the clouds up to the sun I'm coming down I'm coming down I'm coming down I'm coming down The journey's long but the time was right for me to heal I flew too high but I needed the view to show me what was real
12.
Little Man 04:15
Little man It’s so hard to be you The world wants you to change I want you to be you Little man After all you’ve been through You’re wise beyond your years You see right through our fears You are the best in me Bring out the thirst in me To be the better man To help you where I can You are the best in me Bring out the thirst in me To be the better man To help you where I can Little man When the noise is too much There’s a crack in your calm And the shame washes over you Little man When pain takes me away It separates me from you But you find your way back to me You are the best in me It brings out the thirst in me To be the better man To help you where I can You are the best in me It brings out the thirst in me To be the better man To help you where I can If there’s only one week left Let’s play a little harder Cuz you and I, we’ll make the most of it You are the best in me It brings out the thirst in me To be the better man To help you where I can
13.
When I awake and see the morning star And its halcyon rays Blinded by the future light Tripping over today It’s here to be, and here to see, This time I understand The house is full, I know the rules, but I’m folding my hand, but I’m folding my hand I’ve been running away from here, for far too long Missing out is a tragedy, the greatest that we’ll ever know Let tomorrow go, let it fall, Swallow the key to the past Yesterday’s gone, a chapter done, Blown out the candles again, blown out the candles again I’ve been running away from here, for far too long Missing out is a tragedy, the greatest that we’ll ever know There’s nowhere else that I want to be In my life and the air I breathe. There’s nowhere else that I want to be Than here now No more running away from here There’s nowhere else to go No more running away from here There’s nowhere else to go No more running away from here There’s nowhere else to go No more running away from here No more being alone
14.
Grace 06:36
There's a little bit of glory in the suffering There's a tiny spark of joy in the pain Tried holdin’ on to love I was losing Didn't know I had wisdom to gain It's true that we're all chasing something That'll give us relief and escape There's a war that you knew I was waging Hiding demons under a hero's cape You let go of my hand, and walked out the door But you led me to find what I was searching for And I'm thankful I'm not blind anymore And now I see – there was love in you leaving And now I see – there was gold in the grief And now I see – that grace, was all down to me I was dreaming, planning for the future Afraid to find peace with the past You tore the next page from the story I wanted to burn your memory to ash It forced me to stop and remember That I'm the author of every move that I make Didn't believe in a silver lining 'Til the truth shone through for goodness’ sake 'Til the truth shone through for goodness’ sake And I thank you for lighting my way I'm healing day by day And now, I realize why you couldn't stay And now I see – there was love in you leaving And now I see – there was gold in the grief And now I see – that grace, was all down to me Down to me, down to me And now I see – there was love in you leaving And now I see – there was gold in the grief And now I see – that grace…………………

about

From his nomination as Best New Artist at Canada’s Maple Blues Awards following the release of his 2011 debut album, Toronto-based Chris Antonik’s star has been on the rise – wowing live audiences with his passionate guitar virtuosity, delivering innovative and thoughtfully-crafted songs that transcend limitations or expectations of genre, and assembling an impressive forward-looking body of recorded works that pay deep respect to diverse musical influences while seamlessly forging ahead in exploring new sonic and artistic territory.

Not to be stopped by any pandemic, Chris has developed a wealth of powerful, captivating material for his highly anticipated fourth album. His February 2021 crowdsourcing video for the project received an incredible response from fans, supporters and followers. These themes of community, re-engagement, rebuilding and self-compassion resonate throughout the album. To be released in August 2022, Morningstar is Chris Antonik’s most ambitious and fully-realized musical vision to date, building on nuanced songwriting, an amazing assemblage of musicians (including guest appearances by award-winning blues guitarists Jarekus Singleton and Paul Deslauriers, and Tedeschi-Trucks’ Mike Mattison), and of course Chris’s own sophisticated, mesmerizing guitar work complimented by stellar vocals. Morningstar is a cohesive collection of songs and musical experiences reminiscent of the best albums of the 1970s, in the ways in which the elements fit together to generate a transcendent experience for the listener.

credits

released August 5, 2022

Produced by Derek Downham and Chris Antonik

Engineering:
Jeremy Darby and Julian Decorte - Canterbury Recording Co., Toronto ON
Tim Foy - The Nelson Room, Toronto ON
Lee Rogers - Pro Gold Studios, Toronto ON

Additional Engineering:
Derek Downham, Toronto ON
Tyler 'Falcon' Greenwell, Atlanta GA
James Salone, Jackson MS

Editing: Lee Rogers and Derek Downham

Special Advisor: Ted Onyszczak

Mixed by Alex Gamble - Raventape Music Room, Toronto ON
Mastered by Andy Krehm, Silverbirch Productions, Toronto ON

Copyright 2022 Second Half Records, in partnership with Moondog Music. All rights reserved.


In Loving Memory of Guenther Kapelle and C. Brett Dakin

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Chris Antonik Toronto, Ontario

“One of the best artists we’ve heard from the Great White North.” (American Blues Scene)

"Classic modern blues ... made with wisdom and style. Antonik has a transcendent understanding of modern electric blues.” (Indie Folk Americana)

"...[t]he future of the blues" (Blues Underground Network)

Toronto-based Chris Antonik blends innovative, thoughtful songwriting with stunning blues guitar work.
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